Steve needs to have a Swear Jar and every time someone says a profanity in front of him, he just holds it out. The especially bad ones cost two dollars, don’t think Steve will let you get away with that. And this goes on for months and months and when Bucky starts coming around, he notices it. And he also notices how Steve doesn’t swear in front of any of the Avengers.
And when he gets Steve alone, he’s like, “what gives, you’ve got the worst mouth out of anyone I know.”
And Steve, with a perfectly innocent expression, says, “they made assumptions, Buck. I think those assumptions should at least buy a new bike, don’t you?”
And Bucky just stares at him, awed, like, “I forgot how fucking devious you are.”
The Steve Rogers fandom continues to fix the Ultron script.
That is, not until the day Captain Fucking America runs past and definitely does NOT stutter “On your left”. Nor does he stutter the next 2+ times (now you’re just rubbing it in, man!). Maybe that’s the reason why Sam’s got his worlds doubled up? Man like Rogers, he really wants to make his mark, Sam guesses. Flash forward past CATWS, flash forward to the conclusion of The Great Bucky Hunt, and they’re bringing their boy home now– well, /Steve’s/ boy, Sam has to keep reminding himself. (2/?)
The thing is tho, even if Bucky doesn’t talk much (read: at all), the 3 of them have still managed to build up a nice rapport. They took on those last Hydra bases together, working well as a unit even if it was only Steve & Sam providing the background chatter. They don’t push Bucky to talk if he doesn’t want to (he can clearly still vocalize– the nightmares prove that well enough), they can work well enough off of facial cues and military hand signals. He’ll talk when he’s ready. (3/?)
But for now their Hydra-hunting days are paused– they’ve done everything they can at the moment, checked off every one of Bucky’s stops on his revenge tour. Now it’s time to go home and recuperate before the next thing (there’s always a Next Thing). Steve and Sam immediately jump back into the habit of a morning jog, Bucky trailing behind them uncertainly (a predictable path? out in the open? with all these people?). Bucky sticks to Sam like he’s there for protection detail, not exercise. (4/?)
Steve ofc is a little shit doing his normal routine of running past them with cheerful “On your lefts!” every time. After a while of this, Sam turns a sly eye to Bucky “So… think you can match him?” Bucky nods hesitantly. “Think you can… beat him?” Bucky nods decisively. The next time Steve laps them, Bucky is in pursuit. Once Steve realizes he’s got a shadow, he laughs and speeds up EVEN MORE. (5/?)
Maybe Sam miscalculated. In no time at all, Steve (with Bucky on his heels) is coming up behind Sam again, “On your left” already on the tip of his tongue, Sam can tell. But! Then Bucky puts on a burst of speed and manages to make it to Sam first. Surprising everyone present, he calls out “On your left!” triumphantly. And– and it clicks, then, for Sam, because then there’s Steve, saying the damn thing one beat behind, two voices in stereo just slightly off. That’s what it meant all along. (6/6)
This one I’m just posting without comment, WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY SAY TO IMPROVE THIS ONE?? WHAT. WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY SAY.
please consider the fact that steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america probably got the bulk of his sex education from a pack of chorus girls
and like obviously you could jump to the conclusion that he had a bunch of educational sex romps with a harem of hot young ladies but if you have ever hung out with a pack of women for any significant length of time you will probably have observed them discuss every single facet of every single sexual encounter with every single romantic partner with one another, while cackling.
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america sitting at the very end of the makeup trailer, meekly brushing a chorus girl’s hair, as six other girls share a bottle of gin and compare the median dick length of hook-ups in the west coast vs the east and how that might correlate with willingness to give head and a seventh girl keeps making lesbian jokes
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america realizing all of bucky’s romantic ‘conquests’ probably went straight back to their friends and reported on his performance and suddenly being really glad he’s a virgin
steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america on one of his sadness errands goes to visit the last chorus girl in her nursing home and she’s like ninety and hooked up to a wheely oxygen tank and knitting some baby booties for her great-grandkid and she asks him right there in front of all the cameras, ‘you found a nice young man to pop that cherry of yours yet, rogers?’ and he goes ‘i’m waiting till you die, ethel, the last thing i need is another lecture on the clap’
the morning after sam and steve do it, steve resignedly answers his cellphone to the dulcet tones of a cackling ninety year old woman with a lecture for him on the clap.
FantasyBoudicca 