agentpercivals:

Harry’s sat on the bench, waiting for Eggsy to join him. It was a lovely day, rare for the sun to be shining in London, so the two had taken the opportunity to have a relaxing day in the park. After a while of soaking up the rays, they’d both got hungry, and they’d decided to get a sandwich from one of the most popular sandwich bars in the area. Eggsy had kindly offered to go and pick up the food – Harry hadn’t quite got his full mobility back yet, and even with a cane, found it hard to walk some distance.

After a while, Harry started to wonder where Eggsy was – half an hour had gone by, and he still hadn’t come back. Sure, there was probably a queue, but half an hour? He started to worry, paranoid that he’d been jumped, or something worse.

The worry is quickly wiped away when he can hear Eggsy walking back to the table, shouting to someone on the phone. Probably complaining to Ryan or Jamal, or something.

“Bruv, fuck the sandwich guy!” Eggsy shouted, slumping onto the bench, and throwing a paper bag onto the table. 

“What an earth are you so angry about?”

“The dickhead told me he’d run out of steak filling. How the fuck you gonna be running a sandwich place and run out of filling? Wankers, mate.” Eggsy muttered, taking two neat sandwiches out the bag. “Even worse, they still had your fuckin’ posh chicken caeser filling. Enjoy it, you mug.” 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at his overreaction. He was so adorable when he was angry.

“Darling, you’re so cute when you’re hangry.” Harry said, taking a bite into his sandwich. 

“Yea, whatever. ” Eggsy replied, smiling at his own stupid overreaction. “You’re buying the next lunch, though.”

(i hope this is okay haha <3)

annaofaza:

• Eggsy’s just an ordinary London cop doing standard patrol and putting money in the bank for the flat he shares with his mum and sister—Dean cut his losses once Eggsy graduated from the academy and took his friends with him—when he gets an alert about a break-in into one of the House of Lord’s homes. The resident starts bemoaning about being robbed, but is cagey when Eggsy starts asking exactly what the thieves stole.
• In less than twenty-four hours, the contents of the lord’s phones, laptop, and tablet reveal career-ending scandals ranging from cheating on his wife of thirty years to helping tip the PM election, along with some shady deals that involve shaking hands with international criminals. Eggsy’s pretty impressed and takes pleasure in being one of the cops to personally escort the man into custody.
• Soon, there’s a series of this sort of thing happening—seemingly upstanding citizen or total slimeball who knows how to take advantage of the system getting exposed around London. Court cases follow. Some of his fellow officers grumble about these people being judge and jury, but most seem like “eh, well deserved.” Eggsy’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he’s pretty curious about who these vigilantes are and might, might want to help. Not like they need it.
• By luck and wit, Eggsy digs up Chester King, former tailor shop owner who ran a more lower-end shop out of business, and was hit with charges of embezzling, extortion, bribery, coercion, and typical charges of white collar crime. His gut says it’s the same sort of thing he’s dealing with, only more personal. Who was the father? A Charles Harold Hart. And it looks like the son is still around, having taken over King’s tailor shop—
• Eggsy sneaks away and chats Harry up, a fit bloke who seems like an ordinary tailor. But in time, it’s revealed exactly what’s going on, and Harry shows off the secret headquarters—secret headquarters—with some grouchy tech guy who scowls at Harry for bringing in “any young, handsome thing who HAPPENS TO BE A COP” and a cheerful set of people who like exposing London’s “finest,” including a lady the same age as he who takes him down at hand-to-hand. Harry’s office is plastered with a lot of his own “jobs,” and Eggsy’s a bit shocked to see Dean Anthony Baker, local drug dealer, on them. 
• And that’s how Eggsy becomes Kingsman’s man on the inside.

send me a pairing + AU and I’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

notbrogues:

I tried to make this not depressing

• Eggsy used to kipping it on street corners and park benches when Dean’s had a few too much to drink and gets riled for a fight. Good thing about it, he’s seen a lot more of London than most people do. Sure, he doesn’t get the full view as the tourists and day time crowd but at least he doesn’t have to pay to get into every fucking thing.
• Harry, just home from a long business trip doing mind numbing pencil pushing auditing work, finds his lovely home has caught fire and everything is terribly smoke damaged. He kind of just sags in defeat and sits down on his suitcase as he watches the firefighters trample on his plants and soak his already destroyed house. When he goes to fish his wallet from his pocket, he finds it missing. That wiry kid on the tube–Harry swears so loudly the firefighters actually turn to look at him. No cards, no money, no ID.
• So, Eggsy’s wandering the streets early in the night when he comes across some poor bedraggled looking bloke carrying a little wheelie behind him and staring dejectedly at his phone. Despite the wrinkled suit, shocking purple circles under his eyes and the overall grumpy look about him, Eggsy thinks he just looks–lost. And handsome. Just as he makes up his mind to go talk to him, the man lets out a disgruntled yell and throws his phone to the kerb, where it shatters.
• “You alright there, mate?” 

          “It appears my phone is out of battery.”

          “Yeah… don’t think it’s gonna charge up now.”

          Harry levels the young man in the snapback with a stare he hopes is       both unimpressed and withering. The young man just raises his eyebrow at him, smiles.

         “My house nearly burnt down,” Harry explains with a sigh. “And someone stole my wallet.”

          “Ouch. Well, I’m kicked outta my place for the night. Looks like we’re both bumming it tonight.” The young man sticks out his hand. “I’m Eggsy.”

          Harry takes his hand. “Harry Hart.”

          “I know a place that serves all night breakfast. Will do a fry-up that makes you see God.”

          “I don’t have any money.”

          “It’s alright. I picked a wallet off some bloke in a nice suit a few hours ago.” At Harry’s flat stare, Eggsy adds with a laugh, “Joking, mate. It’s on me.”

• There’s a sense of companionship–something about being out alone on the streets when everyone else is tucked up into their beds that makes Eggsy reach out to Harry, for Harry to reach back. They spend the rest of the night sharing a double order of beans and fried mushrooms and bacon, endless cups of coffee that they get on free refills when Eggsy shines that utterly charming smile on the waitress and she nearly breaks down into giggles. Harry finds himself staring far too much, catches Eggsy staring back. By the time morning comes, Harry finds he’s in too much of a hurry to get back home.

send me a pairing + au and I’ll write 5 headcanons!