what if the boy who lived was the girl who lived? scruffy tomboy harriet “call me Harry” potter, getting extra rubbish from the Dursleys both from being a girl and being the wrong kind of girl
and absolutely nothing in the entire 7-book series changes except for pronouns. because girls can be brave and imperfect and angry and sulky and loud just like boys can.
(except a girl harry would room with Hermione Granger and the Patil twins instead of Ron and Sean, but that’s literally the only thing I can think of that might change)
absolutely nothing whatsoever changes with regards to Ginny. except that in addition to “why doesn’t Harry notice me as more than a chum,” she grumbles, “why hasn’t Harry managed to realize that CHO IS STRAIGHT”
IF this becomes a popular text post, this is how I want to be remembered
i couldnt help it
changing dorms would change a lot actually. :
(aka i express howo much i love this post through comic s)
i’m totally down with this post
except
“but Harriet would room with Hermione Granger and the Patil twins instead of Ron and Sean”
who the fuck is sean
obviously dean and seamus. combined into one. one whole sean.
can JK Rowling please pull a Stephanie Meyers and rewrite her first book with the lead being gender swapped and do it properly
Ugh okay but just think about Hagrid going back to his hut and working so hard all night to make a little pink cake, painstakingly trying to make every letter perfect, and shooing Fang away, because “This ‘ere is for little ‘Arry. Not so little anymore, though!” He beams through a few tears and is so proud of it as he wraps it up in a box with a ribbon, and can’t even sleep because he’s so excited. I mean HAGRID you guys
“Potter, what is that?” Draco asks with urgency, his chest
constricting in pain as he catches a glimpse of something dark coiling up Harry’s
forearm.
Harry shoves his
sleeve down and jumps up to meet Draco, his wand clattering to the floor. “Nothing.
How did you find – “
“Show me.”
“I don’t – “
“Show me. Now.” Draco
demands. He can’t believe this is happening. As if it isn’t horrible enough
seeing it on his own arm every day.
Harry pulls up his
sleeve slowly to reveal it – The Dark Mark – etched into his flesh. Draco holds
back a gag.
“It’s not what you
think,” Harry says.
Draco’s eyes dart
between the mark and Harry’s face. “It’s – how did – why?”
“I wanted to practice removing
it,” Harry says slowly, his meaning clear. It only makes Draco angrier.
“So you gave yourself a
Dark Mark? You reckless idiot. What if you can’t remove it? Did you even think
about that before you – “ Draco stops himself. Of course he didn’t. He’s Harry
fucking Potter. Draco sighs and tries to calm himself. He’s not responsible for
Harry’s idiotic antics. “How did you even manage to replicate it?” He asks, his
voice measured.
Harry smiles weakly. “Well,
a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was inside me for most of my life and his magic
left a pretty big trace. I just… accessed it.”
Once again Draco holds
back a gag. The thought of Voldemort’s magic, so dark, so cruel, inside of
Harry Potter, the Gryffindor Saint, is too much. It’s horrifying.
Draco takes a breath
and asks Harry the question he already knows the answer to: “Why do you need to
know how to remove a Dark Mark?” He needs to hear the idiot say it.
Sure enough: “So I can
remove yours.”
Draco grits his teeth.
He’s furious that Harry has put himself in danger for him. Again. “You don’t
owe me anything, Potter.”
“I know,” Harry says. But
he doesn’t.
“You can’t just go
around saving people all the time!” Draco’s raised voice echoes throughout the
room.
“Why not?”
“Not everyone wants to be saved,” Draco points out. He
doesn’t want Harry risking anything for him. How could he ask that
of anyone, after all that he’s done?
“You don’t want the
mark removed?” Harry questions, his eyes falling down to Draco’s left arm.
Draco’s mark is
covered but he tugs on his sleeve regardless. “It reminds me of who I am.”
Harry frowns. “That’s exactly
why you need it removed. That’s not who you are, Draco.”
Draco blanches,
surprised at the use of his first name and Harry quickly corrects himself. “I
mean Malfoy.”
Draco lets his eyes
fall back down to Harry’s mark, taking in the harsh lines of the coiling snake
and skull, and the red raw skin beneath. He shudders. “Looks like you haven’t
had much success anyway,” he says as casually as he can manage. But inside, his
heart is tight. Because now Harry will have to live with the Dark Mark the rest
of his life. Just like Draco, he’ll be forced to carry the weight of the inescapable
dark magic within his skin, forced to feel it crawling through his veins,
through his every spell, with no relief and no hope of salvation.
“I’m getting close. Before
you came in, I could feel it moving.” Harry retrieves his wand from the floor
and points it at his Dark Mark, eyebrows tightening in concentration.
“Go on, then. No other
Wizard has been able to do it, but I’m sure even a Dark Mark will be no match
for the great Harry Pot – oh.” Draco’s knees buckle. “Oh.”
Against all logic,
Harry removes the Dark Mark as if it is nothing more than a muggle tattoo.
The head of the snake recoils into a rapidly shrinking skull until all that is
left is smooth, untainted skin.
Malfoy yanks up his
sleeve and holds out his arm to Harry. Despite all his protesting, he wants to
be saved. More than anything.
Harry’s hand wraps
under Draco’s arm holding it in place and he raises his wand. Draco screws up
his eyes in anticipation – he cannot bear to witness the removal in case it doesn’t
work properly. What if his Dark Mark is worse than Harry’s, having come from
Voldemort himself? What if – Oh.
Draco doesn’t need to
see it happen because he feels it. He feels the darkness extracted from his
body, feels strength returning to his limbs. And he feels light. Lighter than
he can ever remember. As if he might just float away. He opens his eyes and
stares down at his clear, unmarked skin.
There’s a sense of
twisted deja vu when Draco looks up from his arm. He remembers looking up into
Voldemort’s eyes after he was given the mark, and feeling colder than he’s ever
felt before. But now when he looks up into his saviour’s eyes, into Harry
Potter eyes, it’s warmth he feels, from the smooth skin on his forearm to the
centre of his heart.
He blinks back his
tears. “Thank you.” They’re the same words he was forced to say to Voldemort
but their meaning couldn’t be any more different this time. Voldemort had
stolen his life, and Harry Potter had just restored it.
You won’t know that the Elder Wand was also called the Deathstick
Ron was actually a Prefect
Harry, Fred and George got a “life-long ban” from Umbridge after they attacked Malfoy on the pitch
Dumbledore hired a centaur named Firenze to teach Divination
Neville Longbotton could’ve been “The Chosen One” but Voldemort chose Harry
Fenrir Greyback was the werewolf who bit Remus Lupin as a child
Harry attended Bill and Fleur’s wedding disguised as Barny Weasley, a red-headed Weasley cousin
Lily was actually a few months older than James
While still alive, the Bloody Baron, who became the ghost of Slytherin House, was sent by Rowena Ravenclaw to retrieve her daughter, Helena, whom he was in love with. When Helena, who became the ghost of Ravenclaw House, refused to go with him, he became angry and stabbed her. Then, distraught with having killed her, he killed himself
Harry mended his own wand with the Elder Wand before he got rid of it
Harry, Ron and Hermione met Neville in St Mungos, who was visiting his parents and his Gran told them what happened to Alice and Frank
The Potters’ had a cat
Harry got miniature broom from Sirius for his first Birthday
Bathilda Bagshot was a friend of the Potters’
• Peeves was a poltergeist who haunted Hogwarts and frequently harassed students • A house elf named Winky was an integral part of the plot of Goblet of Fire, she was Barty Crouch’s elf • Dobby worked in the Hogwarts kitchens, Dumbledore paid him a wage and he gave Harry the gillyweed • Harry and Ginny’s first kiss wasn’t creepy or in the Room of Requirement, it was in the Common Room after winning a Quidditch game • Snape had his own challenge on the quest for the Philosopher’s Stone that was a test of intellect and included drinking potions • McGonagal protects Hagrid and takes FIVE spells to the chest in order to let him escape when Umbridge tries to get him incarcerated • Sir Cadogan! Fantastic painted Knight • That random piece of glass that Harry looks through and sees Alberforth in, was actually a mirror given to him by Sirius who wanted to keep in contact with him while he was at Hogwarts, it was also what he used to keep in contact with James over the summer and during classes • Harry has a complete break down after the Sirius’ death and trashes Dumbledore’s office – it’s super cathartic and heartbreaking
• RON WAS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. • Harry and Dumbledore seeing Voldemort’s mother and the abuse she went through.
ooooo boy okay
the triwizard tournament maze was actually WAY more interesting than the movie version: Harry straight up ran through some fog which turned the whole world upside down, he answered a riddle for a sphinx in order to get past her and actually encountered a blast-ended skrewt
blast-ended skrewts were hybrids of a manticore and fire crab, bred by hagrid which he introduced to the students during classes. they had sparks flying out of their rear ends which would explode. females had suckers and males had stingers.
not all of hagrid’s lessons were disasters!!! he once buried leprechaun treasure in his back garden and gave each student a niffler and set them loose to see whose would catch the most gold (the winner won a bar of honeydukes chocolate)
fred and george’s pranks against umbridge didn’t only involve the massive fireworks display: they placed nifflers in her office on more than one occasion and it nearly bit her fingers off trying to get at her gold rings and they even created a portable swamp which sealed off a whole corridor and didn’t give anyone instructions on how to remove it
they left Peeves with a command to ‘give them hell’ and the poltergeist, who never listened to students ever, took the words to heart and started pretty much wrecking the entire castle
the teachers kept coming to umbridge with all of their problems because they didn’t have the ‘authority’ to deal with it themselves (even though they could totally fix it) which resulted in umbridge running herself ragged trying to keep up with each new disaster.
at one point harry witnessed peeves trying to undo the fastenings for a chandelier and saw mcgonagall say out of the corner of her mouth as she walked past ‘it unscrews the other way’
when snape demanded to see harry’s potion book after he injured draco in the bathroom, he went and retrieved ron’s book instead, who he didn’t realise had signed it with a spell checking quill. The magic had worn off and read ‘roonil wazlib’ instead and when snape asked who that was harry lied and told snape that was his nickname.
in the second book, during valentine’s day, lockhart hired dwarves to carry harps, wear gold wings and pretend to be cupids while they read out love letters. Harry received one from Ginny in front of a crowd of people and was so embarrassed he tried to run, but the dwarf caught him around the legs and then sat on him so he could recite the rest of the love poem.
percy weasley moved out of the house after the fourth book when harry said voldemort was back, choosing to side with the ministry and his ambition over his own family whom he stopped talking to for several books. he arrived back just in time to fight in the battle of hogwarts, reuniting with his family and apologising for his behaviour right before fred was killed.
cho never sold out dumbledore’s army to umbridge. it was her friend marietta edgecombe.
in the sixth book when harry was obsessed with finding out what malfoy was up to, he sent kreacher and dobby to spy on his whereabouts
ginny actually had a personality??? her and harry’s relationship didn’t feel weird or forced (and there was definitely no strange shoe tying incident)
it was actually tonks who found harry on the train in the sixth book after malfoy broke his nose and left him there. her patronus had changed so much (to resemble the shape of a huge hulking creature) that for a while harry thought she was in love with sirius and was mourning his death
pettigrew hesitated when harry and ron tried to overpower him so that they and the rest of the prisoners could escape the cellar at the malfoys. the silver hand voldemort crafted then turned on him for this small act of humanity and strangled him to death, even with ron and harry attempting to save him.
– Draco had a severe existential crisis beginning in book six when he was ordered to kill Dumbledore , and was so distraught that despite having plenty of chances , he deliberately sabotaged himself. One of his attempts resulted in Katie Bell being harmed and soon after Harry spies on Draco and sees him in Myrtle’s bathroom , crying and throwing up and looking disgusted with himself.
During the Battle of Hogwarts , when Crabbe dies , Draco is completely inconsolable and nearly throws himself into the fire that killed his friend out of grief
– Also in “ The Cursed Child ” Draco is a very loving father to Scorpius and is working really hard to help mend the damage done by the Death Eaters and it’s pretty well implied he’s been cast off by much of his family
“ I have come to you because my son is crying and hurting and you’re keeping him from his best friend ” – Draco lecturing Harry because Harry ( super OOC btw ) wasn’t letting Albus hang out with Scorpius
– SIRIUS WAS ABUSED FOR BEING A GRYYFINDOR IN A SLYTHERIN FAMILY AND THAT’S WHY HE HATED GRIMMAULD PLACE
– Sirius and James were pretty much brothers, and Sirius often hid at the Potter home in his Hogwarts years
– Thinking of Harry and just knowing James’s son was alive gave Sirius enough strength to handle TWELVE YEARS of Dementor torment
– Hagrid was always feeding Harry and inviting him over for tea and just generally treating him like a son and was entirely a mess when he thought Harry died
– Fred and George memorized all the hidden secrets of Hogwarts in their first year , the bloody geniuses
– Once when Draco called Hermione a Mudblood in front of the Gryffindor Quidditch team , Fred and George got so furious it took the whole team PLUS onlookers to hold them back and George was straight up about to just ditch wands and throw fists
– Fred had a crush on Katie , Angelina , and possibly Lee Jordan ( I mean if you read it again and pay attention you can see the gay crushing )
– It’s implied that George is the technical guy in their plots and Fred is the idea guy , but they both have a knack for design and tricky magic
– Fred and George created a secret underground radio system designed to help people hide from Death Eaters and not ONCE did they get found out , they were war heroes
– George was also possibly bi? I mean he definitely seemed to have a thing for Oliver Wood , and Katie
– RON IS A GREAT GUY IN THE BOOKS AND HIGH KEY CRUSHING ON HERMIONE FROM THE START AND HIS BIGGEST FEAR IN BOOK SEVEN WITH THE HORCRUX NECKLACE???? THAT was real and raw and emotional af for Harry to witness
Ron’s biggest fear was losing his crush to his best friend and both of them leaving him behind I MEAN
– DURING THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS RON IMITATED PARSELTONGUE SO WELL HE MANAGES TO GET INTO THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS TO STEAL BASILISK FANGS AND HERMIONE WAS SO IMPRESSED
– Flitwick was so impressed by the twins swamp prank that he REFUSED to take it down for like a month and then took down some of it , leaving a section as a monument to the twins groundbreaking magic AND a giant fuck u to Umbridge
He never reveals how he removed it and it’s implied that over time the swamp just grew back completely anyway???
– Fred and George created both actual love potions AND daydream potions that allow the user to pretty much experience a dream for real
– Fred and George deliberately hire people that are discriminated against ???? HEROES????? No but like they hire delinquents and werewolves and Muggle-borns and even give poor kids discounts ??? And they probably got hate for it but just keep on going ???
No but really the twins would be the nicest employers I love them ???
– DUDLEY
Dudley started being nicer to Harry In like book five and in book seven he was very distraught to learn that Harry had an army of murderers after him and got super indignant about the way his parents didn’t seem to care
– PETUNIA WAS REALLY BITTER THAT SHE WAS A SQUIB AND IT DROVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER AND LILY BECAUSE ALL PETUNIA EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A WITCH
Aggggggggghhhh I’m just so sad about Draco in the movies he’s so much realer in the books
Ron and Hermione’s kiss was also way better and not soaking wet and just like “oh hey we got the fangs” but instead was because mid battle Ron was like “oh shit the house elves” and Harry is like “what we should get them to fight?” And Ron is like “what fuck no we need to evacuate them so they don’t get hurt” and then Hermione just jumps the guy and starts making out with him
Hagrid got drunk and kissed McGonagall on Christmas in the first book and they both got all blushy over it
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
FantasyBoudicca 