In 1967, she appeared as Amanda, Mr Spock’s human mother in the Star Trek TV series, a part she took almost two decades later in the movie Star Trek IV: the Voyage Home (1986). During a Trekkie convention, a fan asked her: “If you are Spock’s mother, you should be able to tell us, what is Spock’s first name?” Hardly pausing, she replied, “Harold”.
The marriage was a quiet one, but the news was still greeted with astonishment on Earth. Sarek took it calmly. One particularly annoying newspaper, which published a slight alteration on Amanda’s headline—”I Married A Little Green Man!”—received an interesting riposte from Amanda, when she was interviewed on one of the broadcast news services shortly thereafter: “There is nothing little,” she said with great dignity, “about my husband.”
could you imagine The Enterprise having like a yearly inspection and Kirk bugs out every time because the best running ship in the fleet certainly doesn’t become so because they follow therules. He has to remind the crew a week in advance to actually call him Captain and use formal titles. Bones and Scotty’s shared bathroom which is one hundred percent a liquor cabinet/distillery cannot be a thing.
Sulu has to collect all of his plants out of everywhere that’s not the Botany Labs and hide the illegal ones he picked up during their journey in his quarters. Scotty has to remove all of his Scotty-Approved-Modifications from Engineering. Spock can’t work four shifts in a row and break the ensigns that challenge him in the gym to sparring matches. Bones can’t medically offer alcohol to anybody. Uhura needs to not curse every ten minutes, in any language. Chekov needs to focus more on his console and less on every pair of legs walking by his station.
Nurse Chapel needs to actually do what McCoy says, rather than agreeing with him then doing something wildly different but more productive and helpful. Bones isn’t allowed on the Bridge unless called. Spock needs to sit at his console, standing up and leaning over all coy is actually a safety hazard. Scotty can’t use scottish slang over the comm system
But then something *happens* like it always does to Kirk–the “hole in space/giant glowing hand” kind of thing–and all of that goes out the window–in the course of, say, 38 hours Jim gets called “jim” 50 times, Spock never goes off shift, the ship is hit and all of sulus plants fall out of the closet they were stuffed in, uhura is swearing up a storm and Scotty’s jurry-rigging everything, checkov gets caught staring at the pretty alien, and Chapel does her damn job thank you, and Bones appears in the bridge to yell at everybody like he does.
BUT, at the end of the day, Kirk has secured a new treaty because the culture values closeness over formality, Spock’s marathon at the science station has collected enough data to keep the academy busy for *months*, one of the aliens is fascinated by the plants ensuring a new collaboration between their scientists and starfleet, Scottys improvements to the systems prevent their new friends from getting eliminated by their enemies and uhura’s swearing intimidated the enemy into backing off, and the princess is totally ensnared with Chekov–oh, and Bones discovers the cure for the new mystery illness is the bathroom moonshine, and chapel saves the fucking day.
The inspector just throws up their hands because he’d read the Kirk file, *but he never believed it was true*
and stabby the knife wielding rumba stabs the inspector at least once
im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever
scottish trad music genres:
Everyone I Love Is Dead
The English Have Stolen All My Sheep
You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three
The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep
I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]
The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English
One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome
The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep
We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:
* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland
* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It
* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)
* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution
* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow
oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!
genres include:
I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug
The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed
You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)
Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)
The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground
We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee
The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang)
When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left
The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow
Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!
I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:
I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)
I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant
I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It
I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis
Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise
Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome
The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)
Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor
Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol
behold mongolian folk music genres
I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia
We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)
Witness My Many Ungulates
(While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant
On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)
Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates
I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes
Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)
You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse
THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.
now with more okinawan!
We Must Plant the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk!
We Must Harvest the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk!
There’s No Crops Right Now, Let’s Get Drunk!
Sex On the Beach Is Awesome, War Is Bad
There Are Ghosts in the Trees
The Japanese Exploit Us (And the Americans Do Too)
I Love the Sea, This Island Is Beautiful, War Is Still Bad
Hey, There’s an Old Man, Let’s Get Drunk!
Respect Your Parents Or You Will Be Lost at Sea Forever
As the daughter of a folksinger and spouse of a folklorist, I love this SO MUCH. Here’s some from the sub-sub-genre of French folk songs of the Midwest…
I Am A Brawny-Armed Lumberjack Who Loves a Town Girl, Oh No!
Oh Fuck, I Slept With a Fur Trapper, What Shall I Tell Maman?
Hauling Logs, Rolling Logs, Driving Logs, All Day, What Ho!
Like Hell You’re Marrying That Good for Nothing Bambocheur!
Fetch My Gold Ring That Fell Into the Sea! Now!
I Met A Sailor While A-Strolling, And Now We Are In Love!
I Want to Kiss the Sailor I Met A-Strolling, But I’m Afraid My Father Will Find Out!
Oh Fuck, I Kissed the Sailor I Met A-Strolling And Now We Are Doomed!
Some Italian Folk Music Genres
A Spider Has Bitten Me And If I Do Not Dance I Will Die, Alas
I Am A Very Fancy Man With A Very Fancy Hat
The Cable Car Is A Thinly-Veiled Metaphor For Your Feminine Torture, O Woman
Rome Is The Very Best Place And Every Other Place Is Just Awful
I Love You, But You Are Married
I Love You, But You Are Fickle (Why Did You Dance With The Baker’s Son, Thou Vixen?)
I Love You, But You Left Me All Alone On This Romantic Wind-Swept Hillside, Which Is Actually Very Pretty, But Not As Pretty As You, Foul Temptress
Rome Is Still The Best Place And Every Other Place Can Go Right To Hell
Seriously Once You Have Been To Rome You Will Just Be Sick At The Thought Of Being Anywhere Else, You Will Pine Away And Die
I Love You, But You Are Dead (Or Maybe You Just Went To Live In A Slightly Prettier Place)
Rome, Rome, O Rome, Ah Rome, Rome Rome Rome, Have I Mentioned That I Love Rome?
Venetian Special Genres:
Women Are Like The Ocean: Salty And Full Of Drowned Sailors
Women Are Like The Ocean: I Cannot Figure Them Out At All
I Saw You One Time At A Party And I Have Designs Upon Your Feminine Virtue
I Love You, But You Are Married To The Ocean (For Some Reason)
I thought I would add some Dutch ones, because I saw no one had added any: – That Girl Is A Prostitute (But At Least She Goes To Church)
– That Incompetent Sailor Is Actually A Girl, But She Will Have Sex With You If You Don’t Kick Her Off The Boat
– Someone Of Any Occupation Is Doing Something, But Unfortunately They Are Now Dead
– Fuck You Spain (Haha, We Sunk Your Boat And Stole Your Silver)
– Fuck You England
– We Might Be Small, But We Will Fight You
– Life Isn’t So Bad, If You Just Go Outside
– Fuck You Winter
– Look At That Guy (Wild Racism)
– We Like Going To Other Countries (More Wild Racism)
– Drinking Is Fun
– Drinking Makes Me Long For Sea
– God Is My Dad
– My Province Is Great And Full Of Nature
Some nice Russian folk songs:
There Was A War And Everyone is Dead, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird
There is Going to Be a War And Everyone Will Die, There’s Also a Sybmolic Bird
The Dyeing Is Happening Right Now, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird
I Had a Dream About Us Dying (No Birds Involved)
Alas You Are Dead
I’m a Bird, I Drink Vodka
Fuck It’s Cold
Frost Do Not Freeze Me Do Not Freeze My Horse Do Not Freeze My Wife Please I Have Children
And my personal favourite:
Ayy Lmao This Guys Head Just Got Shot Off, We Are Going to Die Hahaha
I just couldn’t miss an opportunity to provide you a comprehensive summary of Ukrainian folk music genres.
~ I Married To A Man And Moved Far From My Home But I Want Fucking Back On My Fucking Land To My Parents And A Guy Whom I Actually Planned To Marry Before My Society’s Patriarchal Structure Destroyed My Life
~ A Guy Whom I Loved Loved Me And Also A Some Other Bitch So I Poisoned Him So That Nobody Gets Him
~ This Is My Land And I Love It Very Much, Period
~ I Made A Traditional Kupala Wreath And Released It On Water To Find My Love, No Sexual Hits Involved
~ I Have A Veeery Deeeeep Well In My Garden, And Also A Veeery Curly-Wurly Cabbage, And Also A Veeery Sweeeet Carrot Growing There, Come On Guys Check It Out, Oh, And There Are Totally No Sexual Hints
~ Graphic Descriptions Of Lesbian Sex
~ Everybody Is Dead After A Battle But There Is One Particular Cossack Whom I Am Especially Obligated To Mourn About Because He Is A Representative Of Our Entire Nation’s Young People
~ The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries
~
The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries And It’s Compared To Some Sad Shit Happening In Nature
~ Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine Hahaha Yay!
~Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine And Involve Some Couple Who Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries
Adding these well-known Cajun hits
~ I have a boat and have procured many crawfish do you love me?
~ I sure do love crawfish, boats, the bayou, and also dancing
~ My girlfriend can cook, and is therefore superior your girlfriend, who cannot
~ my girlfriend cannot cook and is therefore inferior to all other girlfriends
~ I saw you over a pile of crawfish and knew I was in love (on the bayou)
~ a list of regional dishes set to the tune of kitchen utensils
I feel like we’re missing the huge goldmine of blues standards:
I Need a Woman
Women are Evil
My Woman is Screwing the Milkman
My Woman is Screwing the Bus Driver
My Woman is Screwing my Best Friend
My Woman is Screwing Everybody in Town (Except Me)
My Woman is Screwing the Milkman/Bus Driver/my Best Friend/Everybody (Except Me) while I Work All Day at the Slaughterhouse
I Lost My Job at the Slaughterhouse
I Lost My Woman Because I Lost My Job at the Slaughterhouse
I Lost My Temper and Murdered My Woman at the Slaughterhouse (and Then I Lost My Job)
My Woman Tried to Poison Me
My Mama Thinks I’m Handsome (But No One Else Agrees)
The Weather is a Metaphor and It’s Always Raining
I Have a Lot of Feelings and Drinking Them Seems Like the Best Solution
I Met the Devil in an Unlikely Place and Made an Ill-Advised Bargain
FantasyBoudicca 