Tag: ahahaha

feynites:

andhumanslovedstories:

The best cover for Bruce Wayne would be dumb carefree playboy who is also Instagram Optimistic, everyday he’s posting a selfie of his smiling at his breakfast with a caption like “it’s a waffle day! #goodvibesingotham #grateful” or a picture of a sunrise with a caption that’s just “wow #blessed” 

Bruce Wayne ending up as Gotham’s favoured son because he may be an idiot, but he’s a cheerful idiot, and he donates tons to charity and genuinely loves Gotham and actually, truthfully does put a lot back into the city. And his instagram is a bright ray of sunshine, and honestly there are a lot of people in the city who get surprisingly defensive of their Dumb Carefree Playboy because, okay, sure, every month or so Bruce Wayne falls off a yacht or sleeps with a reporter or whatever. The man clearly never met a healthy coping skill even once in his life.

But as far as news regarding Gotham’s prominent citizens go, Bruce’s ‘scandals’ are so normal that it’s downright refreshing. When a headline has ‘Bruce Wayne’ in the title, you know you’re either going to read some Celebrity Gossip level non-drama, or else something to do with a charity. Maybe he’s been kidnapped again, but that’s only happened a few times. Bruce Wayne news is like the Gotham equivalent to special reports about dogs who rescue their owners from drowning, or raccoons who’ve figured out how to get past the new self-locking garbage can lids.

And there’s something weirdly reassuring about following his twitter. Like, if Bruce Wayne is tweeting about a really neat old tree he just saw, things must at least be sort of alright.

(Meanwhile, Bruce’s social media persona is 100% him flanderizing Clark.)

gummyboots:

Four rich fathers go golfing.

One of them stays behind to pay the bill and the other three proceed to the first hole. While golfing, the three fathers start bragging about their sons.

The first father says, “I am very proud of my son Arthur; he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel and now he is at the top!  He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second fathers says, “My son Ivan is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third father says, “Well, well, well – congratulations! My son, Ludwig, is also my pride and joy and is also very rich. He became an engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He built a mansion especially for his best friend.”

Then the fourth father catches up and they ask him how his son is doing.

The fourth father replies, “Oh, my son Alfred is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends shake their heads and say, “What a shame, you must be so unhappy! How tragic.”

The fourth father replies with a bright smile, “Oh no, I am not ashamed at all! Alfred is my son and I love him just as well; he’s my pride and joy. And he is much loved by his friends too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a Mercedes Benz, a brand new jet and a huge mansion from his three suitors?”

@gloclouds Goals

loudlylaughinglady:

gallusrostromegalus:

See I’ve seen like 600 variations of this meme and I gotta tell you a Story.

The year is 2012.  It’s Christmas.  It’s the first year my sister and I are both home from college, and we’re feeling kind of nostalgic, so we take out the old family photo albums to remember everyone from times past.  We’re all on the couch or the floor with hot chocolate and the Dog is curled up under the tree.  It’s all very Norman Rockwell.

We’re going through my Mom’s side of the family, laughing at the pictures of Grandma putting wrapping paper on the dog, and grandpa pulling faces at the camera, when we find an old brown envelope.

“The fuck? says my sister, because she’s been in to Great-Aunt Liz’s Rumballs, and I open the envelope.  Inside are four tickets to the titanic, unused, and Mom tells us the story of how her ancestors ALMOST came over on the Titanic, but Great-Aunt Liz got the measles and forced everyone into quarantine, thus saving their lives.

The OTHER thing in the envelope are seven Photographs, dated 1890.  They are of my Great-Great Grandmother.

They are nudes.

They are NOT tasteful nudes.

Like, these are Violating-Terms-Of-Service-On-Most-Platforms- OBSCENE.

GGG had these taken waaaaay back in ye olden days, in order to convince her wayward husband to move back to England after he ditched her to party it up in Chicago.

I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW FUCKING HARD WE LAUGHED.  Like, I think I passed out I was laughing so hard.

So yes, people have ALWAYS been like this, and your nudes will make for a hilarious family Christmas someday.

loved this story