If you’re unsure how to pet a cat (i.e., maybe you didn’t have cats around growing up), it can be helpful to bear in mind that petting is a grooming activity. Grooming each other is how cats bond. Of course, each cat will have individual preferences, but the fact that it’s a grooming thing gives you two basic places to start:
Scratch areas that the cat has difficulty reaching, like the chin and upper throat, behind the ears, or the the very top of the head. (Watch the body language here – you’ll know if you pick the wrong spot right away.)
Work your fingers deeply into areas of thick fur where tangles are likely to form, like around the shoulderblades or the ruff of the neck. (You may come away with a handful of loose fur; this means you’re doing it right.)
Also, if you’re unsure of how to approach, try extending your hand with the palm up and the fingers relaxed for the cat to sniff. It’s the cat equivalent of a handshake – cats sniff each other to see where they’ve been, and for humans, it’s the hands that carry our scent history, since we touch everything constantly.
It’s kind of amazing watching all the folks who didn’t know that petting is a grooming behaviour come to the realisation that cats lick you because they want to pet you back.
Another thing you can do with skittish cats is offer your *closed fist*.
A cat that is shy of an open hand that can grab may approach a closed hand that they don’t perceive as trying to grab them. (Needless to say, don’t actually grab them, please.)
They bonk against your hands (and your head, if they are at head level) the same way they bonk against one another’s heads. It’s a friendly greeting that often ends in friendly cats turning and licking each others shoulders, necks, and ears a few times.
They scent mark by rubbing their faces on things. Their cheek glands produce a pleasant-smelling (to them, we can’t smell it) pheromone that projects friendship and reassurance. When they scent mark you like this, it is a friendly gesture.
So with this in mind, try letting the cat bump your fist, then gently rub the fist past the side of their face as they rub their face against your fist. Think of your fist like a cat’s head, and you are scent marking them back. You are sharing a friendly gesture.
A worried cat may warm up after a few passes of this, and you may be able to pet the neck and back of the head. The under-chin/throat area can be a little dicey. They don’t casually kiss each other there.very often and it can make them feel vulnerable.
Rolling over to show the tummy does not always mean the same thing it means for dogs. Unless you know the cat, be very careful touching the tummy. It might not be an invitation. It might be a readiness posture.
Digression: cats don’t show submission by rolling. Rolling is a defensive maneuver that prepares them for possible combat with other cats by putting their most powerful weapons – their teeth and back claws – into play simultaneously. They fight other cats by hugging with the front legs, biting anything they can reach, and kicking with the incredibly strong hind legs. It is an advantageous position for fighting/play fighting, lets them see all around them AND above, where humans usually approach them from, and it keeps them from getting pinned on their bellies, unable to retaliate. If they need to, they can flip and run away easily because cats are FAST.
So yeah, some cats love tummy stuff. Some hate it and just want you to admire from afar. A gentle hand placed on their tummy should tell you whether they want actual pets there or not. If they stretch or open up their body language, that’s good. If they tense or “sit up” to look at your hand, that’s not good. Stop petting and go back to the head.
Obviously if they grab your hand and rabbit-kick and bite, then you should not pet them there.
Some cats have a hair trigger. Sorry about that.
You can also pet them without moving your hand, just hold it out and let them rub against it. This will give you a good idea of where they like to be touched and how hard and for how long.
Very shy cats, once they realize you are willing to pet them without grabbing, may really come to enjoy approaching you.
We have a cat like this. If you let him see you respect him by not over-petting, he will rub against your hands and legs for a long time.
The moral is that cats are not inconsistent jerks, it’s just that we misinterpret their body language.
It’s also that we do not respect their boundaries when they present them, because we, as humans, want to be allowed to pet all soft things, and, somewhat spoiled by dogs, who love it nearly unconditionally, we unreasonably expect it of cats, a very very different animal.
If you want a cat to come back for more, don’t push yourself on them. They will remember you are a Cool Human and will come back for more.
(Also, speak softly. Cats usually really hate loud people.)
Two other things to consider with all of this: blinking and body position. If you offer your finger or hand, the cat will look up into your face as they sniff. Blink, slowly, and do not stare. This communicates a lack of aggressive intent. It also helps if you break your body plane backward; that is, lean back a little. If you are leaning backwards and not staring, you’re not about to pounce. I spend the first five minutes of an exam leaning against the wall and looking bored. It helps.
People who are excited to see a cat tend to lean forward, make eye contact and (as noted above) raise their voices, and then the cat thinks they’re in trouble. This is why cats are attracted to the people in the room who “don’t like cats;” they’re the ones communicating the least possibility of conflict.
Reminder: Americans lose access to a free and open internet next month. Do not be surprised if some voices on here disappear. Do not be surprised if other countries begin to follow suit.
Or you could try to do something about it, like calling your representatives or taking to the streets if all else fails.
Would VPNs work? Afaik there isn’t a government or telco in the world that can successfully block those things (case in point: you can totally access banned sites like Facebook in China using VPN), so the logic follows that they shouldn’t be able to slow down internet using those either.
IT’S THE “AGED 27 1/3” BIT THAT MAKES ME CRY WITH LAUGHTER
this kills me!
They actually did it, too.
this is the most adorable thing i’ve seen in my life
I guess you can say that 3 year old was “spot on”
this post has nothing to do with my blog but I love this so much and I had to share
I could see it being called Leopard Bread, too. But Giraffe is even better.
Customer service done right.
Okay– so the picture of the bread made me wonder whether the name change stuck, so I Googled “sainsbury’s giraffe bread” and found not only numerous references to “Giraffe (Tiger) Bread” from the Sainsbury’s Web site, but also this followup story on the change from the BBC:
By the time the BBC story was written, however, customer manager Chris King, aged 27 1/3, was no longer employed at Sainsbury’s. Apparently he’d left the company to go study to be a primary-school teacher. Perfect.
EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY.
but why
Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever.
The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays, & important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world.
That graphic grinds my gears every time I see it
romans.
Julius Caesar to be precise
Remember this when you’re conquering. Keep the books.
THIS HURTS MY HEART SO MUCH EVERY TIME ITS BROUGHT UP
I met a fan artist from the Hobbit fandom who’s 40+ years old, who sent me a postcard a couple of years back for Christmas with her art on the card.
When I was about 14, I once befriended, and lost contact with, a 40 year old woman with a full head of gray, curly hair, who was one of the best known Good Omens fan artists of the community. She had apparently been in and out of asylums for years, and I worried for the longest time. I even sent her an email when I was around 18, asking after her well-being. But then she resurfaced when I was 21, here on tumblr. It was one of the greatest and most memorable fandom experiences I’ve ever had.
When I was 15 and using slurs I didn’t know were slurs, 30+ year old LGBTQ+ comics fans on scans_daily patiently but firmly corrected me. I felt mortified, but they never attacked me or treated me as anything other than a dumb kid who made a mistake.
I have a long time friend of close to a decade, who was late twenties when I met her in the comics fandom, and I was a teen.
OLDER FANS ARE CRUCIAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF FANDOMS. Not ONLY because they’re literally the ones keeping fandom afloat (AO3 wasn’t created or maintained by kids, let’s just say), but because older fans generally don’t attack or bully or fuck up a fandom by being aggressive or volatile or overzealous, destroying any enjoyment of a medium.
Single women, married women, LGBTQ+ fans, all in the range of 30-60 years old. I’ve met all sorts of older fans, from when I was 12 on deviantart to now, in my mid-twenties, and not a single one of them has ever hurt me or treated me like dirt. I’ve always felt safer with older fans than with younger ones, because of the people I’ve seen harass, accuse, doxx, bully, and generally engage in harmful behaviour in this fandom, they’ve largely been in the 13-21 age bracket.
Obviously most young fans aren’t like that, but the toxicity is palpable regardless.
@younger fans, if somebody older in a fandom acts in a creepy way, then feel free to avoid them, block them, report them.
But this apparent DELUSION that younger fans have that older fans are “creepy” just for existing needs to be eradicated. Just. Stop. You do not deserve the fandoms they built, they maintained, they keep alive in themselves and all the younger fans they took care of, if you cannot RESPECT THEM.
I’m 35. I’ve been in fandom for going on 21 years. I am a fandom old, but I am not what one would consider an old-old (You old-olds do you. I love you all.).
However, I have watched a clear uptick in “OMG HOW CAN YOU BE PAST YOUR MID-TWENTIES IN FANDOM?!” bullshit happen as I have gone deeper into my thirties, and I want to tell you a few things:
1. First of all. Get fucked. 35 ain’t old on any scale. You should be looking forward to 35 because if ever there is a time to draw your first “fuck it” line in the sand, it’s 35.
2. I wouldn’t be here today, two decades wonderfully in love with fandom were it not for the fans who came before me. They were welcoming and warm and corrective as mentioned above. They put a chair at the table for me and were goddamn fucking saints to a queer teen from the Ozarks who didn’t fully understand she was a queer teen from the Ozarks. But, by god, they made a space for me at the table.
3. To pretend as though fandom is a game of the young is to fucking ignore some easily provable shit about fandom. We’re all here because women in the ‘60s wanted to see Kirk and Spock fuck, and so they made it fucking happen. In a time where all they had was typewriters, no VCRS, and sure as shit no reruns, those broads screamed “fuck it” to the universe and wrote Kirk and Spock fucking. And then put that shit in the mail. We are here because people who are now grandparents went, “Those two dudes should make out,” and they put it on fucking carbon paper. Without them, you younglings would have fucking nothing.
4. Fandom is about acceptance. We’re all here because we love a thing. Maybe we don’t love the thing for all the same reasons, but we fucking LOVE the thing. There’s no age limit on loving the thing. Harry Potter is 20 years old. You don’t have any space to yell about someone with the same number of decades over you enjoying Harry Potter and not being a creep. Hunger Games is 10 years old. Doctor Who? Sit your ass down.
5. In short, fucking check yourself before you wreck yourself because I am officially a fandom old with my two decades of experience, and I haven’t hit forty. I will not stand for this shit. Learn from your elders. Embrace the love. Embrace the happiness. Because, fuck me up, no one will be faster to come to your aid if there’s a creep on your ass than a fandom old.
I am 33 years old. My mom is in her fifties and is active in bandom. My father, who died in 2015 at the age of 64, was in bandom battles that made the hatred between Backstreet Boys and N’Sync look tame, and when he died I found boxes upon boxes of old fanzines for Star Trek.
I am here because of my parents. I am here because of people who paved the way before me, and you will be here after me because of things my generation of fan does as well.
Fandom is a safe space for everyone, regardless of age. That goes in all directions.
I’m 35 this year. I’ve been in fandom since 1998, when I lied to get on a mailing list that was NC-17. There were much older fans who were patient with me while I learned to write fic. They were there to give me pointers about life as well as writing.
Spockslash died last week. She watched the original series of Star Trek when it first aired. She saw “Amok Time” and though that Kirk and Spock were in love. She tried to get the show back on the air. She was 77 when she passed, and there are a TON of people who will always remember her fondly and miss her like crazy, including her son and all the lives she touched before the internet was even a thing.
Fandom old, fandom grandma, fandom aunts, uncles, nonbinary people, whatever they choose to call themselves. They’re here. And you’re going to have to deal with that, or find something else to do.
It probably really irritates Wonder Woman when the Justice League is getting shot at and she has to do the Robot to block bullets with her bracelets–meanwhile Clark is just standing there, bullets bouncing off his chest. He’s not even wearing armor. His mom just sewed some of his old baby blankets together and he’s making it work.
And she has to lug a shield around just so, like, fucking muskets can’t kill her. Like if someone shoots an arrow at her, she needs to block that, or she’ll die, apparently.
So just off-screen there, picture Superman just casually strolling by. “Hey, you, uh, you need some help there? Wanna stand behind me? I have this cape, it blocks bullets too.”
It’s weird, but the first thing I think of is how he always personally record his lines every time he appears in the Simpsons and Futurama, even though they could have just faked his electronic voice. Like, he actually went to the recording studio to do it.
These are great lines, too. Rest In Peace, Mr. Hawking.
FantasyBoudicca 