Author: cuilpantielthesleepyscribe

caffeinewitchcraft:

copperbadge:

strangeselkie:

copperbadge:

kiralamouse:

gooseweasel:

If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”. 

Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play. 

It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.

The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.

So like.

A truly accurate modern translation would be “I Cunt Believe He Said That”?

@copperbadge YOU GO AND SIT AMONG THE MUSTARDS  AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE

I truly feel the ghost of Shakespeare has never been more proud of me. 

I feel Shakespeare’s approval in this chili’s tonight

kurtty-drabbles:

quicsilver:

why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.

This is funny, at least to me.

gaysupersoldiers:

caffeinewitchcraft:

thebibliosphere:

stimmymage:

pervocracy:

fandommember:

benaddictedcumberbabe:

cameronfryesgirlfriend:

cause of death: too shy to call ambulance

Didn’t want to inconvenience anyone

Someone else might have needed it more

This happens. 😦

Bear in mind that ambulance companies aren’t diverting EMTs away from a heart attack or traumatic amputation to answer your call.  They’re much more likely to be diverting EMTs from:

• Sitting in an ambulance station or a random parking lot playing Words With Friends and/or developing elaborate company-wide romantic intrigues
• Sitting in a hospital EMS room doing giant stacks of paperwork no one will ever read while trying to make dinner entirely out of saltines and condiments
• Routine transports of people who have to travel by stretcher, who maybe are not happy to be late, but are hardly going to die from it
• Transports which are technically emergencies, but are stuff like vomiting or a sprained ankle where the urgency factor is more like “yeah, you should get that seen” than like “STAT CODE RED CODE BLUE CODE POLKA DOT STAT STAT STAT.”

So if you think you might need an ambulance, call one.  You are not going to single-handedly take down the EMS system by daring to use it.

I’m reblogging it but I would be that person wondering “Do I need this enough” until I died.

I have legitimately done this. Please, take care of yourselves.

Furthermore, guys, we have dispatch. Dispatch makes sure that we’re all where we need to be, so you’re not taking an ambulance away from someone who “needs it more.” 

Let dispatch worry if an ambulance needs to be somewhere else. You just worry about taking care of yourself.

Most of them time we’re passing the time at the station by trying to find where the firefighters hid the remote /this time/ and listening to scary stories on YouTube. Your safety and health is not an inconvenience.

coolcatgroup:

When cats stretch and spread their little toebeans out, reblog if you agree

greekedtext:

2-face:

madamebomb:

cephalotodd:

we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise 🙂

Honestly, tea. I’ve lived here my whole life and I have never once known what my total is gonna be at the register. Total fucking mystery.

im an ex-american living in new zealand for the past two years and it still never fails to blow my mind that i can take a $2 coin, walk up to a counter with two $1 items, and perform the expected transaction

this callout is completely deserved

Every time I go to the States I have to consciously remember to have some extra cash ready because THE AMERICANS HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT HOW TO JUST INCLUDE TAX IN THE LABELLED PRICE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS.