If you grew up in the 2000s, chances are you definitely wished your long-lost grandmother would suddenly arrive in town and reveal you were secretly a princess in an adorable little European country called Genovia. The dream. The 2001 film The Princess Diaries and its 2004 sequel had us all wishing we were Mia Thermopolis.
But anyone who has read the brilliant book series by Meg Cabot knows that there are some serious differences between The Princess Diaries book and the films; namely, in the books Mia’s dad is alive and a major character. So why did Disney decide to kill him off for the films? According to Cabot, it was because of Dame Julie Andrews.
The celebrated author recently revealed to Entertainment Weekly that she was surprised when Disney told her they wanted to write out one of her main characters. That is, until she heard why.
“[Mia’s father] plays a big role in the books,” She explained to EW. “I was like, ‘Oh, oh, my God, what did he do [for Disney to kill him off]?’ And they said, ‘Well, we have this actress, who’s a really big actress, that we want to play the grandmother. And we wanna make her role much bigger, and kinda raise the stakes, and give her a lot more lines, and we think we can give her a lotta the dad lines.’ And I was like, ‘Well who’s the actress?’ And they were like, ‘Julie Andrews.’ I was like, ‘Oh my God, kill the dad.’ I was like, it’s Julie Andrews, sure.”
did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be
omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.
This is a thing of beautiful, that got even more beautiful.
Me, an Georgian era woman, reads this at 10pm, jumps out of bed in my nightdress (no robe no shoes no nothing) steals one of my father’s horses, rides 2 miles down the road to my friend Helen’s house, and bangs on the door.
“HELEN, PRAY WAKE YO ASS UP FOR WHAT I HAVE TO RELAY TO YOU CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE MORNING! ELIZABETH BENNET HAS JUST SAVAGELY FUCKING SLAIN MR.DARCY AND I SHALL CEASE LIVING IF YOU DO NOT READ THE PASSAGE THIS INSTANT!”
Helen’s parents wake up in a panic and come to the door, the only thing they were able to discern from my shouting was that someone had been killed. They begin to call their servants to fetch a constable until I tell them it is only the latest work of fiction from an Anonymous romantic novelist. They slam the door in my face just as Helen is coming down the stairs screaming, “WHAT PAGE?!?!”
I see Helen the next day in town. She found the page and thoroughly enjoyed reading about the Cold Justice that was served to Mr. Darcy, but also informed me that I had been disinvited from dinners at her family’s estate for the next month.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
ALL THE TOILET PAPER IN THE HOUSE. Note to self: Remember for future vengeance purposes.
this is what i call “chaotic awesome”
This is incredible
I’m going to need further stories about the ordinary looking SEAL being creepy and unsettling.
Also taking all the batteries and the lightbulb is a master move, it’s like the subtle but effective gaslighting Amelie does to the mean grocer.
FantasyBoudicca 