Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

parkkate:

Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?

Harry: Yes.

Umbridge: What?

Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.

Umbridge: MR. POTTER-

Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.

Umbridge: POTTER!

Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.

Harry: (Turns to Hermione)

Harry: Did I get the math right?

Hermione: Yes.