The best cover for Bruce Wayne would be dumb carefree playboy who is also Instagram Optimistic, everyday he’s posting a selfie of his smiling at his breakfast with a caption like “it’s a waffle day! #goodvibesingotham #grateful” or a picture of a sunrise with a caption that’s just “wow #blessed”
Bruce Wayne ending up as Gotham’s favoured son because he may be an idiot, but he’s a cheerful idiot, and he donates tons to charity and genuinely loves Gotham and actually, truthfully does put a lot back into the city. And his instagram is a bright ray of sunshine, and honestly there are a lot of people in the city who get surprisingly defensive of their Dumb Carefree Playboy because, okay, sure, every month or so Bruce Wayne falls off a yacht or sleeps with a reporter or whatever. The man clearly never met a healthy coping skill even once in his life.
But as far as news regarding Gotham’s prominent citizens go, Bruce’s ‘scandals’ are so normal that it’s downright refreshing. When a headline has ‘Bruce Wayne’ in the title, you know you’re either going to read some Celebrity Gossip level non-drama, or else something to do with a charity. Maybe he’s been kidnapped again, but that’s only happened a few times. Bruce Wayne news is like the Gotham equivalent to special reports about dogs who rescue their owners from drowning, or raccoons who’ve figured out how to get past the new self-locking garbage can lids.
And there’s something weirdly reassuring about following his twitter. Like, if Bruce Wayne is tweeting about a really neat old tree he just saw, things must at least be sort of alright.
(Meanwhile, Bruce’s social media persona is 100% him flanderizing Clark.)
what if Happy Bruce is kind of a little bit real.
like, it started out as a distraction to keep the media away from batman. but being so dour all the time is exhausting, and he has serious Issues and isn’t really working on them. having this one little outlet where he can just step away from the weight of the world and be happy for a second is a kind of therapy. he needs it.
then there comes a time when he can’t access the internet for a while. he’s trapped in some other dimension or something. but he keeps queueing up these posts, even the ones he knows he’ll have to delete because they’d give something away, because he just. doesn’t feel right if he doesn’t do it.
“roasted iguana for supper again. i think i’m getting good at this! #cooking #barbecue #alfredwouldbeproud”
As with all Batman headcanon’s I’ve seen on this site. This is 100% accurate. Granted it was before the advent of Social media where it was in the comics, but there was a time where the general attitude towards Bruce Wayne was that while he was as irresponsible as any other person with more money then sense, he tended to throw his money at things like the GCPD Widows and Orphans fund, or that woman who ran a free clinic out of the old apartment complex at Crime Alley, or buying new state-of-the-art diagnostic machinery for Gotham General Hospital to add to the Doctor Thomas and Martha Wayne Memorial Clinic, in the Martha Wayne Wing of the Doctor Thomas Wayne Memorial building on the Martha and Doctor Thomas Wayne Memorial Plaza. Then when there was a scandal the headlines read things like “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at college frat party, accidentally pays off tuition for 36 students thinking it was bail money.” Or “Bruce Wayne spotted handing car keys and $100 bill to notorious crime boss Oswald ‘The Penguin’ Cobblepot. Claims he thought Penguin was Valet.”
Bruce Wayne as the Keanu Reeves of Gotham. I dig it.
FantasyBoudicca 