phemiec:

one time when I was only a few weeks old my mom tripped on a sidewalk while holding me and without a scrap of gymnastic experience did a full 360 tuck-and-roll somersault landing perfectly back on her feet and i didn’t even get a scratch and anyway all i’m saying is that sort of powerful protective instinct and split second reaction time in a moment of crisis is genetic and inherent so that’s why it’s ok if i use my phone in the bathtub