clientsfromhell:

I’m a photographer who
specializes in in creating miniature dioramas and photographing them. People
come to me when they want this very specific look.

I was recently contacted by an author looking to
commission a book cover. 

Client: I would
like a cover for my book.

They were looking for
a very specific image that seemed to involve hiring a model and taking photos
on a set. I started to suspect this client hadn’t looked at my portfolio, even
though they’d used my website contact form.

Me: I’d love to
work with you, but what you’re describing isn’t really my style. Why don’t you
take a look at my portfolio and see what I do – if this style works for you, we
could definitely work together.

Client: I
would prefer to create the scene I previously described without the diorama.
Just full size please.

Me: That’s
really not what I do. Aside from anything else I don’t have any contacts for
hiring models. 

Client: I am
fine with the cover having a cartoon girl in a real setting. Could you just
draw her in?

Me: I don’t
draw, at least not professionally. I make dioramas and I photograph them. That’s
what I’m known for, that’s what I’m good at. There are plenty of photographers
who would be happy to do what you’re asking for, or you could buy a stock photograph.
Have a look at my portfolio and see if you like what I have to offer – if you
do, I’d be happy to work with you. If not, I’d recommend you hire someone else.

Client: Fine. Thanks
for nothing.