ibelieveinthelittletreetopper:
This one time I tripped
this one time I split my forehead open
This one time a dark wizard tried to kill me when I was a infant but couldn’t
Stab
I tried to hold an angry cat
someone put an iron on my hand
My teammate tried to jump over me and cut the back of my neck open with his hockey skate.
I got a couple left over from chicken pox.
tried to climb a dead tree
as a child I came up behind a sleeping dog with a squeaky toy in my mouth
Twisted up in rusty metal chains.
Learned the hard way:
– Why you don’t pull a cat’s tail (I was two)
– The importance of shoring up roof structures
– Why you don’t use a poorly balanced cinderblock as a support when drilling
– Burny things are hot
– Rotted fence palings make a surprisingly effective flail when they snap in half back along your inner arm as you pull them down.
– Win the fight before your opponent has the chance to hit you in the face with a metal chairSpider bite that got infected. Doctor informed me, “Oh, it must have bitten you while you were asleep!” and I stayed awake the entire next night in paralytic terror and also pain.
Poorly planned re enactment of 101 Dalmatians.
i was 2 and my mom told me not to do something but i did it anyway
I slipped and cut my arm open
Scalding by water does not do a two year old good. Skin tends to boil and come off.
Tripped on my own feet and split my face open
I punched a mirror and it turns out that doesn’t work out like it usually does in the movies
accidentally poured scalding-hot chocolate on my thigh, accidentally poured boiling water over half of my hand instead of into my teacup
Got stuck in some barbed wire with my leg. Also a scar from appendectomy surgery.
Parrots are more aggressive than you’d expect.
-Don’t sit inside a canvas inner tube for several miles, and then bathe the burns in bacteria-infested lake water for a week after.
-Don’t set a boat ramp on the wet metal beams so that it falls while you’re walking on it
I was an adventurer like you, then I took a red-tailed hawk to the knee.
The slash on my hand indicates I am not good at cutting drywall
fractious alpaca restraint
same
Surgery
My knee may look like they repaired my acl/meniscus…. But in all reality, I just fall alot.
Can of baked beans and my right pinky.
Don’t yank a penknife when it’s stuck
did a DIY cyst removal myself using nail clippers and a needle cause I thought Doctor Pimple prepared me enough for it
Use a potholder that covers your whole hand when reaching inside an oven. Also, take your vitamins so shit heals cleanly.