roachpatrol:

roachpatrol:

please consider the fact that steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america probably got the bulk of his sex education from a pack of chorus girls 

and like obviously you could jump to the conclusion that he had a bunch of educational sex romps with a harem of hot young ladies but if you have ever hung out with a pack of women for any significant length of time you will probably have observed them discuss every single facet of every single sexual encounter with every single romantic partner with one another, while cackling. 

steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america sitting at the very end of the makeup trailer, meekly brushing a chorus girl’s hair, as six other girls share a bottle of gin and compare the median dick length of hook-ups in the west coast vs the east and how that might correlate with willingness to give head and a seventh girl keeps making lesbian jokes 

steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america realizing all of bucky’s romantic ‘conquests’ probably went straight back to their friends and reported on his performance and suddenly being really glad he’s a virgin

steven grant rogers a.k.a captain america on one of his sadness errands goes to visit the last chorus girl in her nursing home and she’s like ninety and hooked up to a wheely oxygen tank and knitting some baby booties for her great-grandkid and she asks him right there in front of all the cameras, ‘you found a nice young man to pop that cherry of yours yet, rogers?’ and he goes ‘i’m waiting till you die, ethel, the last thing i need is another lecture on the clap’ 

the morning after sam and steve do it, steve resignedly answers his cellphone to the dulcet tones of a cackling ninety year old woman with a lecture for him on the clap.