sherlocksbuttonhole:

Because “Maybe the Kingsman boys can dress you properly” made me want to write Eggsy helping Tequila out with his suit.

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“Always thought I was too stocky to look good in one of these suits.”

Eggsy scoffs and throws the tape measure to lie over his shoulder, “you seen who you’re talking to, mate?” 

Tequila laughs.

“These thighs?” He says, standing up, “may be shorter than most of the Kingsman agents and slightly stocky but they’re my best weapons.” 

“Are they now?” Tequila looks Eggsy up and down. 

“Oh yeah, once got knocked over the head and stuck in a room with all my weapons taken off me and I still managed to take out the guy’s five guards with just my legs, complete the mission and get home with just a bust lip.”

“That true?”

“Hundred percent. Ask Merlin if you don’t believe me, he’s got the video proof somewhere on the system. He likes to use it to scare new recruits. Not only that, honestly, good tailoring does wonders for showing off your assets,” Eggsy grins and shakes his head, “fuck, if Eggsy of two years ago heard me say that he’d probably have knocked me out.”

Tequila gives him a full belly laugh. 

“You seen Harry right?” Tequila nods. “His suits are made to

accentuate his small waist and his legs look ridiculously long. Merlin’s, when he wears them, make his shoulders look wider and make him just generally more intimidating. It’s why he wears jumpers more often.” 

“I see. What about Lancelot? I’ve seen her in a suit a few times now.” 

“She has hers made to make her silhouette all smooth, clean lines, and to make her look a bit bigger than she is since she’s like 5′3′‘ and hangs around blokes who are all either nearly six foot or over.”

“I have to say, ya’ll look pretty damn sharp in them. Our suits are more practical, I’d say, the demin is easier to move in when you’re in the action.”

Eggsy grins and puts on his Kingsman accent,

“a juit, if you will.” 

Tequila snorts, “fuck off. I like denim. I’m only letting you measure me because Champ said so.”

“Just wait ‘til I get you in your suit, you’re gonna love it. Much easier to move in that you’d think and bulletproof.” 

“You’re welcome to get me out of it too,” Tequila mumbles under his breath. 

“Maybe later,” Eggsy smirks. Tequila jumps slightly, thinking he’d said it quietly enough not to be heard. Eggsy continues as he crouches to finish taking measurements, “and not here. Merlin’s had enough eyefuls to last him a lifetime, poor bloke. My flat is ten minutes on foot.” 

Tequila smiles to his reflection, maybe staying in England for a little bit longer would be fine after all.