Valinorian (traditional) Elven marriage

verymaedhros:

1. Okay so In LaCe, it says “elves wedded….for love or at least by free will upon either part”

So this means

• Elves were not always “soulmates”
• A lack of love does not prevent the marriage
• Elves could marry for reasons other than love
• Social stuff? (Ect, two high class families) Arranged marriage? Money? Just want a kid?
• I’m getting that “disney princess is told to marry a prince but instead wants to marry for love rather than social expectation” (I’m looking at you, Jasmine) kinda vibe

2. Marriage is the “natural course of life” and “might choose one another early in youth, even as children.”

• I get the impression that there is a high social pressure here
• Sort of like how in the olden days, a 30 year old woman was considered hopeless at getting a shot in the marriage world
• Children don’t know shit about romance so??
• Elves marry their friends occasionally even without romantic love
• Elves marry who their parents pair them off with

3. “The desire for marriage was not always fulfilled. Love was not always returned”

This directly contradicts the earlier statement. Before, lack of love does not prevent marriage. Here, lack of love can. So perhaps it depends on the situation.

• If your parents arranged something, lack of love won’t stop you from obeying the social expectation
• If a maia wants to marry you, you don’t say no just because you don’t love them
• If you’re just two random kids outside of big social expectations and customs, go marry whoever the fuck you want, love is the only factor

4. Maglor, Curufin, and Caranthir were canonically married but, unlike Turgon, they did not bring their spouses with them. Girls were not discouraged from joining (ect, Aredhel, Galadriel) but merely came by choice. Why did their wives not come? The reason for at least one of these three, likely Curufin (the favorite!) would be a social arrangement thing. Probably married some suitable noldo Feanor found for him, but there wasn’t really much love. 

5. I think some of the more “romantic” elves would have shunned the concept of marriage completely. Not because they want to remain single, but because they don’t want to follow the “marry off in your youth at age 18, come on lets go” custom/procedure. They hope that they’ll meet someone that they love, of their own accord, later on. Some elves are lucky enough to be able to find and wed someone they love early on (Feanor and Nerdanel) but not all are. Some would rather remain unmarried, but hopeful, rather than give up and just marry someone they feel neutral about. 

6. I think maiar married elves plenty often. Remember Melian and Thingol? (@inkstranger can help on that bit). Melian just saw Thingol and went “yep, I like that one. Alright. Imma enchant him. Lets go” before even talking to him and Thingol just. Went with it. Combine this with “you marry who you are paired with because it is socially expected even if there is no love” thing, and I think the concept of maiar just seeing and selecting an elf they fancy would be very common. What family would say no? It fulfills that social rank need that elves love so much. A huge honor on the family. Love doesn’t matter. What matters is that the elf is with someone who can take good care of them forever. So yeah I think this would definitely be a thing. We know it’s canon that ainur ARE very attracted to elves. Melian + thingol, Melkor + luthien…they’ve got a thing for elves plenty. It was also canonically noted that the ainur really had a thing for how pretty the vanyar and their fancy hair was. I think there was a specific line that said maiar liked to have elves around for their beauty. So really I see no reason why maiar wouldnt just go “Oh, I like how that elf running the perfume shop looks, dibs on that one” and just marries them. 

7. This is still weird to me